Wednesday, 22 May 2013
cake mix
fuck. and i thought of ending this blog and starting a happy one! screams from new cross. i currently feel so ground down by life that i could be used as a smooth flour in a cake mixture.
Sunday, 5 May 2013
my beloved sister
my computer is taking so long to load that
by the time it loads
my inspiration has run dry...
however i am gonna try to tap back into it if i can remember what the hell it was
i wanted to post on this my
albatross
blog.
as many an alcoholic may peruse,
or reason with their fetish (can i call it that?)
alcohol does strange things to a body.
a body who is walking along the street, two cans of lager in her pockets, through the busy night streets of new cross,(London)
she suddenly dry cries to her sister
...i am sorry, she says
that i cry,
or dry cry at that, when i am a little intoxicated.
I am sorry it is then that i call (quietly)
to you in the darkness and say 'but why?'
and utter her name into the damp street.
but a kind soul
who would never begrudge you another glass for the road,
i know she understands that sometimes it is a drink which allows you to cry those tears
which sit in your chest otherwise,
uncried.
a salty box or tiny vase of uncried tears
in the space directly opposite the shoulder blades on your front.
the solar plexus.
... dry crying doesn't alleviate these, it must be said! ..
it is still hard to understand her absence.
a girl you shared a room with and played 'cowbank' with
(we broke it)
and 'libraries'
(you know),
who i threw a tap shoe at
and who sellotaped my things to the wall when i overstepped a mark of some thing or other.
she that i sang love me or leave me with....
walked endlessly across the heath to ballet with
my beloved sister.
chewy toothpaste
or the cherry sweets,
the bread peas or the
Jumbo moment....
can i say that and Country girl next to each other...?
i was in heaven with you...heady memories
where i was fit to burst with love for living
These are our memories and I can't share them with anyone else dear sister.
and now you went.
or you are, it seems, very much gone.
but when i chuckle or take life simply and again
chuckle and flirt with life,
i remember you and your untamed ways...
and miss you desperately.
i love you
i love you
and i love you always.
by the time it loads
my inspiration has run dry...
however i am gonna try to tap back into it if i can remember what the hell it was
i wanted to post on this my
albatross
blog.
as many an alcoholic may peruse,
or reason with their fetish (can i call it that?)
alcohol does strange things to a body.
a body who is walking along the street, two cans of lager in her pockets, through the busy night streets of new cross,(London)
she suddenly dry cries to her sister
...i am sorry, she says
that i cry,
or dry cry at that, when i am a little intoxicated.
I am sorry it is then that i call (quietly)
to you in the darkness and say 'but why?'
and utter her name into the damp street.
but a kind soul
who would never begrudge you another glass for the road,
i know she understands that sometimes it is a drink which allows you to cry those tears
which sit in your chest otherwise,
uncried.
a salty box or tiny vase of uncried tears
in the space directly opposite the shoulder blades on your front.
the solar plexus.
... dry crying doesn't alleviate these, it must be said! ..
it is still hard to understand her absence.
a girl you shared a room with and played 'cowbank' with
(we broke it)
and 'libraries'
(you know),
who i threw a tap shoe at
and who sellotaped my things to the wall when i overstepped a mark of some thing or other.
she that i sang love me or leave me with....
walked endlessly across the heath to ballet with
my beloved sister.
chewy toothpaste
or the cherry sweets,
the bread peas or the
Jumbo moment....
can i say that and Country girl next to each other...?
i was in heaven with you...heady memories
where i was fit to burst with love for living
These are our memories and I can't share them with anyone else dear sister.
and now you went.
or you are, it seems, very much gone.
but when i chuckle or take life simply and again
chuckle and flirt with life,
i remember you and your untamed ways...
and miss you desperately.
i love you
i love you
and i love you always.
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