another week passes by

today has been an interesting day. i woke up. son off to school. walked daughter to school. walked baby through the park and returned home. baby bored. took him to sainsbury's and carried incredibly heavy bags home making marks on my wrists. phoned friend to say I can't meet her for lunch I feel ill and baby not in good mood. I say to myself- this is your chance ..... to say no, to make a decision and stick to it. tell her you can't go. she tells me she will knock my door at 12 pm and she won't take no for an answer. I say OK. at home I desperately want to stay there. inside it is cool, outside it is hot. I don't have money for lunch. I don't want to play happy. the door knocks at 12. I get the baby and we all go to my car. I drive to Greenwich and we go to a Mexican restaurant. I order a tequila sunrise and beef enchiladas. after the tequila sunrise which tastes surprisingly strong (well it does cost £6) I feel happy and we laugh and eat our food. the bill is high. I only have £10. 'I will get some cash out I owe you £7' I say. 'did you say something?' says my date. 'did she say something?' she asks our other date. we go to Greenwich park and bask in the sun. my sister used to come and sit here in the sun. it is strangely sweet sitting with two women I hardly know who have veritably forced me out of my home to share lunch with them. 'to friendship' we toasted in the restaurant. maybe this is what friendship is. in the most unlikely places, I have never had a friend who drags me unwillingly from my home with the sole purpose of cheering me up. I think my sister would approve. I want to introduce her to them. I can't.
today my son (14) brings home a friend he's been close to but has never brought home before. he is lovely polite and sweet. they eat burgers, a girl from school pops by, she leaves, they have a fire, my nephew and daughter sit with them and they toast marshmallows. they eat cheese burgers I make them. it is nice.
tomorrow I will take my daughter, baby son and nephew to the seaside. my big son has drama and will stay behind with his step dad.....
my baby boy of gorgeousness unknown has been rejected by a modelling agency- I kind of hoped I could make an income for him and me too but I have a rejection email. I feel oddly rejected and sad they cannot recognise his beauty and also relieved I won't be making him into a pretentious model child.
well heres to another week nearly over. i find it strange how i wish the weeks away.