despite the continual base of sad regret for things i cannot change the sun shines today and the children have the garden in which to nearly roam. my nephew is growing well, is dressed and fed and loved; my daughter full of whinges at the moment is also dressed and fed; they play outside in the sunshine while my big boy works on building a play house. the sun shines on their skin. their bellys are full. my smallest boy crawls around and trys to walk to be with his bigger siblings. they are all loved.

all this is good and i feel privileged to witness children's life. it was a great pleasure yesterday to see the two littles, my nephew and daughter as they ran from attraction to attraction going totally nuts on whispy clouds of candy floss.

i say that and then suddenly i hear crys of anger from them in the garden 'mummy i was standing there first' they are shrieking, a little arm lashes out. this is how wars start. 

my plan was to take them all to their uncles so they could playin his garden for a bit give me some time off from mothering. but the choice for me today is pretty unappealing- the house is in a serious mess and will take some work to get up to scratch. boring.