my sister died on 7th Feb just gone. she is gone, despite everything and there was no proper warning, no goodbyes. she has faded into yesterdays. i would like her back very much. this i would like most of all and all other would likes, pale into dusty nothings. i want her back.
i would like a little bit of time to myself now and then; time that isn't painful to acquire or worrying in my desperation.
i would like Mary poppins to tidy my house and nanny macphee to take care of my children.
i would like lots of money to make those i love's live's more comfortable- we are like something from dickens's tales of Victorian misery or zola's grittiest novels on poverty and despairing alcoholism .
i would like to have the answers.
i used to sing love me or leave me in harmony with my sister -by Nina Simone- i would like to sing that with her again.
i just listened to a take that song want you back cos the words 'i have a picture of you beside me; the lipstick marks are on your coffee cup' have been going round my head for days. it made me cry so much because while we didn't care for take that when we were young and they were out there, about a decade later we discussed the merits of many of their songs.
i remember some years ago in our twenties at the twelve bar in new cross the paradise bar my sister sang 'don't you feel like like crying' so beautifully and brillliantly i am listening to that too on utube by solomon burke.
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