i think i drink too much

i mean that is stupid. i think i know i drink too much. my doctor said to cut down. she advised me to literally draw a line on the bottle and drink no more than half in one sitting. mmmm. i think the line can easily become invisible to the eye f one who wishes to complete the bottle.
however this morning i felt very sick having consumed a bottle of white last night as i worked late sieving clutter- years of children's pictures, diary's, birthday cards, school books, my stuff etc etc. i haven't done the best job but it is semi sorted and in boxes and quite neat.
but waking this morning i felt so ill and somehow each morning my house looks like there has been a bomb explosion specifically targeted at the kitchen and living room.
my son missed his train and so since my daughter is still off school sick i gave him a lift. he is going to Belgium tomorrow leaving school at 5 30 am and back at midnight 30 on Saturday morning- no drinking for me tomorrow then! good. i need reasons not to drink.
when i dropped him off at school which is in dulwich- a big comprehensive with security guards, he said he hates school- not in a really bad way but a general way the way kids do. 'i mean look at it' he said. i remember when he was about seven and suddenly felt that school with its high perimeter fences blocking him away form freedom was like a prison. him and his little Somalian friend would even try to scale the fences imagining they could escape. i wish schools were better and freer.he is fourteen on Sunday and i need to try and make it special - i need to try even though i am so sad my sister who saw the light in him and all of us is not here to wish him well. i have to be able to carry on and see the joy of life even though she is not here.