it is so strange losing such an integral part of me- my sister. it is difficult to imagine life going on.
i am still living in an altered reality where the day itself is an obstacle. i feel it almost impossible to dust myself off and carry on with plans and dreams when my sister has been laid to rest.
i could tell her anything. anything at all. everything and i don't really have another person like that who i knew so well. we shared the same upbringing; a bedroom; our parents. we understood one another's language. if i was having a bad time i could turn to her. and visa versa.
i keep on picturing her kitchen and us chatting animatedly about things. stuff. us singing together; laughing together. to accept really that that is over is like a bullet in part of my brain. a part of me has also died with my sister.
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