things i forgot to mention and i will forget

just before we left the holiday caravan site I took a last visit to the shallow lagoon to feed the ducks. it was windy and blustery rain spattered and waves chopped towards the bridge where I was standing alone. across the sky flocked sea gulls which glided and surfed the brazen wind. I was alone with these birds and small black ducks which lurched and swam towards the meagre offering I'd brought. other ducks, mallards and others, gathered and the white cartoon sea gulls sang in their shrill squawking voices as they danced above me. the most beautiful sight amongst this flurry of ducks and birds were the hungry but dignified swans who urgently came towards me, two of which were gleaming white with delicate bending necks and two of the sweetest fluffy brown complexion i have ever seen in a swan. delicate gentle necks and pale brown feathers which looked as soft as duckling fur they reminded me of my beautiful son, innocent and engaged with their plight of gathering bread in such a dignified though urgent manner. 

swimming...every day we visited the complexes swimming pool and for a minimum of an hour my nephew, son and daughter squealed and swam and dived and played while me and tiny boy stayed in the shallow toddler's pool where he walked and walked, sometimes with bended knees like he was doing the limbo and dived and danced and laughed and splashed; it was beautiful.

one day we discovered the nature reserve surrounding the site and I went from feeling like a character in the prisoner to having a better idea of where we sat in the landscape. Old aunty managed the gravel path on her scooter and we walked along beside the expanse of the lagoon, the stretch of water which mingled with sunlight and was freckled with ducks and swans. on the other side the cloudy blue sky rested above van Gogh fields of textured  green grasses peopled with birds that looked like baby dinosaurs. the children roamed. 

away i discovered a small lease of life, only small, but where we swam daily and we woke early to breakfast and nothing to do but go play tennis of walk to the beach. i played tennis with my biggest son while my nephew and daughter were ball boys. in the morning the grass was pale with dew and the sky was misty with hope of sunshine.