i have got to keep reminding myself to live in the moment cos sometimes it feels like we wish the life away. okay so roughly in this moment i am sitting fag in hand red wine close by typing. talk sport is on the radio not my choice just a left over form when significant other was awake. i am in the kitchen at the table which is covered in plates from supper, daffodils in an old coffee jar, some homemade spray cleaner, some handcuffs- they are my daughters play ones, some mugs a load of other stuff in fact the kitchen is a tip but i am not planning to tidy it this eve.
my book the color purple is on the table too i am closer to the end. it is good.
whats today been like? gonna write a stream of consciousness.
blank blank blank, car, old green coat with paint stains that's mine. fag ash. this is crap.
i am uncomfortable and wearing my coat still
the radio is driving me crazy gonna change to radio 1.
i think i am feeling irritable cos radio 1 is too frantic and am gonna change it to classical and i have just taken a pause to clear all the shite away that done i still don't feel right my clothes are annoying me and now the classical music is annoying me the way it gets so quiet you can't hear it then it smashes you with annoying loudness. eeek.
my coat is off now.
has been a long day, worked two shifts , still struggling to pay bills. rob Peter pay Paul and all that.
just gotta live in the moment.
oh shit i think it is mylene class on the radio turn it off.
on chill fm now much better and have taken off annoying clothing and replaced with snuggly dressing gown. got back in after doing some work around 8pm and only now at 10 30 pm am i sitting on my backside typing furiously.
kids in bed at last and siggie asleep on sofa so peace fairly reighns.
over.
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